Probe Note: D Minus One

probe.jpg

Just for the hell of it, I’m going with pineapple. Update: Film Festival Details below.

In the old days, you didn’t get these choices, these “flavor packs.” The flavor, such as it was, was already mixed into the basic meds. And you got what they were handing out that day. None of this, “Pineapple, please” nonsense. No. You took the grape and you were grateful.

(What happened to grape? Did I make that up? Are there flavors they’re not offering me?)

So much for NuLytely — which I called, the first time I had to deal with it, “Newly-telly.” That’s where amateur philology will land you, if you’re an unsuspecting wanker like me. It’s “New-lightly.” As if.

Yellow Jell-O! Strong colors, especially red dyes, queer the colonoscopy, so they’re out. Green’s probably okay but I’ve never risked it. Tomorrow, though, I’m going with apricot, which looked decidedly salmon in the mixing bowl. Just a layer of apricot, though, between two of pineapple (Jell-O, this time) and lemon. My diabolically clever idea this year is to layer five batches of jello in a very large baking pan. A sort of total ick experience in every bite.

Problem is, it’s after midnight, and the third layer is just cooling. Will my Yellow-Jell-O be ready for consumption tomorrow?

D-Minus-One Film Festival: Daisy Kenyon, Brødre, Le Amiche, furia…