Dear Diary: Red Letter Day

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As Kathleen was getting ready for work, she announced that she would try to be home at 9:30. That was amazing enough, but it didn’t stop me from saying that compleat happiness would be mine if she would only tell me what she’d like for dinner. Like most people who don’t cook, Kathleen has a difficult time conceiving of dinner when she has just brushed her teeth after tea and toast. But she struggled valiantly, and was able to ask for “grilled chicken and a salad.”

It would bore you terribly, and possibly depress you as well, to hear how long it has taken to arrive at the simple business (one would think) of milady’s suggesting a dinner menu on her way out the door. Nor will I be tedious about dinner preparations (which began with a noontide run to Gristede’s, across the street). I shall say only that, knowing all day what I’d be doing about dinner was colossally liberating, and I want to stress “colossally.”

We sat down to a great summer trio: French potato salad, sautéed corn, and broiled chicken; followed by slices from a small soccer-ball of watermelon. It was bliss. The meal was constructed during respites from Internet work. And vice versa.

After a few bites of chicken, Kathleen pronounced it delicious. “Of course it is,” I replied. “I sprayed it with Yumulon.” Kathleen stopped chewing and glared at me, already feeling poisoned by this deadly additive. I kept my face in order for a moment, but when I saw hers begin to get skeptical, I burst out laughing. “You never know, with you,” Kathleen groaned. I agreed. “There’s no knowing with me, that’s true; but you want to keep your eye on the real world.” Yumulon! It came to me about ten seconds before I said it. You sort of have to believe that somebody tried to sell a product bearing that name, back in the Fifties, when everything was better if it contained plastic.

If Kathleen had called at 9:15 to say that she would be detained, I shouldn’t have minded a bit. I’d have had the whole day of planning for 9:30. The days of not wanting to be pinned down are over; God save the days of being detained. In fact, Kathleen did call at 9:15 — but it was to tell me that she was on her way home.