Weekend Update (Sunday Edition): Da Noive!

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Even though I was on my deathbed with an incipient cold, Kathleen absconded to sunny North Carolina for a weekend of carefree abandon with her parents. Da noive!

(As Fossil Darling likes to say, “If you believe that, I’ll tell you the one about the three bears.” In nearly thirty years of mystification, he has never once explained this wiseguy utterance. If he’d only offer to sell me a bridge, I could at least ask for a prospectus.)

That’s not all! Next weekend, when I’m sure to be seriously stuffed-up, Kathleen will be off to Coral Gables, a Floridian demesne notorious for its round-the-clock frolics.  Would that I had never figured out that “filing” — as in, dumping a hundredweight of paper on the SEC, which is what I thought Kathleen was doing all those late nights — is just an anagram for “I fling.”

(You know that ancient Chinese classic, the I Fling. All the hexagrams mean “No blame.”)

Da noive! (And, speaking of Da Noive, how about this?)