Culinarion: The Juice of Eleven Lemons

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My ambition is to get Joe of JMG to recite Ruth Draper’s monologue, Doctors and Diets, for one of my uptown soirées. Joe claims to know the routine by heart, and my heart pounds to hear him say “the juice of eleven lemons,” stumbling, as Draper’s Mrs Grimmer does, over “eleven.” You try saying it.

Meanwhile, here’s my recipe for summer lemonade, involving, yes, the juice of eleven lemons. You can squeeze ten or twelve, but if you present the pitcher with a bowl of ice and a slew of handsome tumblers and say, “It’s my mother’s Eleven Lemon Lemonade” (I recommend practicing!), you’re sure to make imitators very unhappy even if their lemonade tastes just as good. How does he make his voice do that, as Firesign Theatre used to ask.

Ingrediments:

The juice of eleven lemons.
One cup of simple syrup.
Water to taste.

Method:

Having squoze the lemons, boil a cup of sugar and a cup of water until the sugar dissolves (see? simple!). Kinky cooks will allow the “water” to brown slightly; this is called “caramel” in French. Don’t overdo it. Cool the syrup with a tray of icecubes, reserving the tray for another use. Combine the syrup and the juice in a pitcher and add twelve ounces of water. Serve forth.

Leftovers will keep in a well-sealed bottle for longer than you might think.